Stephen Harper Succeeds Osama bin Laden on 5/2/11

Just one day after Osama bin Laden was killed, a surprise successor has taken over his role in Stephen Harper’s majority government from the Canadian election.

Well, at least in Canada he has, thanks to all the 40% Tory voters who will help to destroy what is a really great country.

The Progressive Conservative (PC) leader led an efficient propaganda campaign to split the Anything But Conservative (ABC) votes to the New Democratic Party (NDP), mostly, and the Liberals, with some for the Bloc Quebecois and Green Party. The PCs snuck through the split vote mostly in Eastern Ontario in the highly populated Ottawa-Toronto-Windsor corridor, gaining 21 seats overall in the province of Ontario. They got the majority government despite having just 40% of the popular vote with targeted campaigns to seats, and despite losing 5 current Cabinet Minister.

Now, the PCs have the majority government that will wreck this country the way former PC Brian Mulroney did, only in a more dictatorial way, get rich, and leave the PCs decimated in the next election (like Mulroney did). Harpo will have till at least Oct 19 2015 to do this, by some Canadian law for elections, which we all know he changes it as he pleases.

Seriously, with the way Osama bin Laden only indirectly affects Canada, like getting our troops involved in Afghanistan, Harper will do far more damage to Canada than bin Laden ever would.

So congratulations again to all you PC voters. Enjoy your mistake because we’ll be sure to blame you when the next time comes. And don’t come to us begging for mercy when Harper screws you over, too. I hope you like looking at those cool fighter jets while waiting in line for health care outside the hospitals you won’t be able to get into, cause by the time Harper pays for the engines in those things, you won’t have any health care left… and he’ll go to the US for it cause he won’t get in-line fast enough as he ages, either.

Serious congrats to the NDP for a superb campaign on the 60 or so seats gains, more than doubling their previous best number of seats and breaking the 100 seat barrier! You will bring a whole new dynamic to Parliament, but likely only for entertainment as Harper is bound to be dictator, even to his own party, and you won’t have enough to stop him in any way.

Liberals, you need to get a new national leader based on the vote returns, if nothing else. You can analyze all you want but the end result is the end result. The Liberals got rocked from its foundations and its loss was essentially the gains the Conservatives made to form the majority government. The guy could possibly lose his own seat in a Liberals fortress!

The Bloc could easily argue to have gotten rocked even more than the Liberals. They only had a strong hold in Quebec and were basically obliterated out of their own province by the NDP. Gilles Duceppe, their leader, did not win his seat and stepped down. They might as well fold up tent and start a new party, given they don’t have enough for a federal party status anyway, so they might as well ditch their history that’s now taboo. Unfortunately, the Quebec wild card was not enough to stop the PC majority.

The Green Party, your time has come and gone with only about half of your 7% of the popular vote in the last election. Or at least till you put e-may on e-bay. She might have won her seat but it’s generally been all about her. She’s not a party. She might as well run as an independent cause she scours for places to try and win, whether it’s weak or to try to make a statement for herself, disguising her “cause” as something bigger with a so-called Green Party. While the NDP may provide new dynamics and excitement to Parliament in the next four years, e-may will just nicely rant and put you to sleep when she gets a chance to talk, decreasing the efficiency of Parliament. Green voters, you can vote in your idealistic dreams, but if you’d like to live in this world, better get used to someone else.

Don’t take offense, though, I’ll have to live in this real world, too, and get used to Osama bin Harper for the next 4 years.

Just remember, just because Harper has got a majority government doesn’t mean we can’t riot like in Egypt. That might well be coming soon enough.

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2 thoughts on “Stephen Harper Succeeds Osama bin Laden on 5/2/11

    • Yes and no. He’s going to change health care by allowing provinces to experiment, so the fact they can is a “yes”, but the fact he’s not getting involved, supposedly, is a “no”. But that’s probably a good thing cause our system is so inefficient right now, finding ways to improve it by experimenting on smaller scales so mistakes have smaller impacts, would help. It’s something that should have been done decades ago.

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