Upon hearing news of Osama bin Laden’s demise, Donald Trump immediately put out a call for Osama’s Long Form Death Certificate!

The Donald cited he was trying to be fair, and show he was not be racist by asking for the same form of proof as Obama’s Long Form Birth Certificate.

“Frankly, I don’t trust anything that happen to non-white people unless it’s properly documented,” quipped the Trumpster.

When asked about whether the body of Osama bin Laden wouldn’t be better proof, the man with the fox on his head replied, “No. That would be racist as I didn’t ask for Obama’s body to prove he was born in the United States.”

When informed there was no such thing as a Long Form Death Certificate, Don Trump disputed the claim and said his “research” people will show there is such a thing, just like they’ve shown everything else he has challenged. For the record, his people have never followed up on anything.

However, to Trumpie’s credit, he did say that even if there were not such a thing as Long Form Death Certificate, “then create one!”. Donnie cited job possibilities to say “do you know how many jobs that could create a year if everybody who died had to have one of those filled out and processed by government?”

“And imagine the revenue!” said the man who made his name inheriting his Dad’s fortunes, eyes sparkling with reflections of Trump Towers encircling the Washington Monument so it would no longer be visible except from suites with windows towards the inside of the circle of towers, with great views of others’ bedrooms.

With that, the hardest Birther movement pusher and new Deather movement puller walked off smiling, thinking of who he’d fire next.