We have the term ethical non-monogamy to clarify and emphasize a style of polyamory that is considerate, loving, and caring, rather than the stereotype some people have that it’s just an excuse or reason to have sex with multiple partners, or a bit of a free for all even if there’s a lot of love involved. However, have you seen the stats, and heard the stories, for cheating, divorce, abuse, and other actions and behaviours people in monogamous relationships do to each other that are quite unethical, and that are destroying, literally, billions of those relationships? So why don’t people talk about ethical monogamy as the type of relationship they’re interested in, to clarify and emphasize a style of monogamy that is considerate, loving, and caring rather than the type of monogamy where all kinds of unethical actions and behaviours are deemed acceptable given all kinds of people do them? Where’s the ethical monogamy in the relationships vocabulary?

I don’t know why there is no ethical monogamy in the relationship vocabulary, but I’m going to tell you one thing – it is now in mine! I’m not going to use it universally in place of just monogamy, though, as it might antagonize people, or distract from a regular conversation that might not have to do much with non-monogamy. However, if I’m going to have to defend polyamory or ethical non-monogamy, I will fire back to ask people why there isn’t an ethical monogamy term. Given the far higher number of monogamous couples compared to polyamorous relationships, I can guarantee you there is far more cheating, abuse, and all kinds of unethical actions and behaviours than in non-monogamy. So if ethical non-monogamy is deemed necessary in our relationship vocabulary, it’s only rationally fair that there is also ethical monogamy.