Some people’s expectations aren’t worth living up to
Minh Tan
Recently, I read an article on top five regrets of dying people (Guardian, Feb 2012). Well, talk about an article for qutoe fodder given all the big humanity topics to be dealt with, all of which had such impact being lifetime regrets! It wasn’t a scientific survey, but anecdotal from a long time nurse who treated patients in a position to genuinely share such information. I doubt a scientific survey would have turned up much difference for results from what I know of people myself, including those who I had the opportunity to be by during their last days.
Yesterday, I had put up a quote on regrets about the things we didn’t do. I have had that as a belief for decades now from personal experience, then backed up by human interaction experience. Today, I share one about people’s expectations that I wrote just days ago for my “stash” to be used for future blogging. Reading the aforementioned article, the #1 reason was that people wasted their lives living up to others’ expectations rather than a life true to themselves. That coincidentally matched well with this quote so I thought I’d share it, though my quote isn’t meant for just a death bed situation by any means, or a grand scale as a whole life living up to others’ expectations. My quote was intended for any situation you might find yourself in trying to live up to other people’s expectations.
I don’t believe one should just live a life purely true to oneself. That could easily lead to a lot of selfishness because we’re prone to a lot of things like greed, lust and such, that living such a life could lead to other big regrets, and certainly avoidable harm to others. It’s OK to live up to other people’s expectations sometimes, especially if you can use it as motivation for what you also want, even if indirectly. Just be careful whose expectations you choose to live up to, that they’re worth your time, effort and attention, and that if you changed your mind, be ready to abandon without guilt. That’s because some people’s expectations are worth living up to, and some people’s expectations aren’t worth living up to. The latter doesn’t seem to be a problem for us to accept. The latter, on the other hand, could almost be a human flaw. That’s why I only have a quote on the latter.
Digital Citizen 