Jingle Bells for Tiger Woods (parody lyrics for Jingle Bells)

These are parody or spoof lyrics for the well-known carol, Jingle Bells, like in the video below. I think I have an extra couple of verses, but I needed them to make the story complete.

I was going to write something with the chorus starting as Jingle bells, Santa smells, but the ongoing stories about Tiger Woods somehow influenced me to turn this into a Tiger Woods parody so I have now officially joined the Tiger bashing phenomenon. This was not something intentional from the start, but my disappointment in the development of Tiger’s life didn’t stop me, either. Tiger’s been a big source of inspiration over the years for his on course performance and how well his image was managed, and I knew it was managed. I know nobody is perfect, but this whole scandal was really over the top, which would be Tiger-esque for how he does everything in life. I wish his family the best in resolving this as best as possible, cause it ain’t gonna be pretty one way or another.

I still have Peyton Manning as an active role model figure, of sorts, aside from the real ones in my life like my Parents. I also have Wayne Gretzky and Michael Jordan from the past, with Taylor Swift becoming one for a class act that she is.

Enjoy!

My other Christmas carol parody lyrics:

Peeing in the snow

From a one horse open sleigh

Over the fields we go

Laughing all the way (ha ha ha ha)

Telling stories of

Tiger’s cheating ways

And how he got careless and caught

With sex text sent astray

YES!

.

Jingle bells, Santa smells

Like Tiger Woods’ cologne

Even he, has messages

For sex from Tiger’s phone, hey!

Jingle bells, your Mom smells

Like Tiger Woods’ cologne

If you check, I’d bet there’s text

For sex from Ti-grrrr’s phone!

YEAH!

(with fist pump)

.

A day or two ago

Santa got this message twice

Meet me in the snow

And be naughty not nice (ha ha ha ha)

Tiger sent it to

Some women that he knew

But instead Tiger sent it to

Santa’s hot line, too!

OOOPS!

.

Jingle bells, Santa smells

Like Tiger Woods’ cologne

Even he, has messages

For sex from Tiger’s phone, hey!

Jingle bells, your Mom smells

Like Tiger Woods’ cologne

If you check, I’d bet there’s text

For sex from Ti-grrrr’s phone!

YEAH!

(with fist pump)

.

With Tiger’s stray sex text

Santa went to TMZ

Asked with confidence

Ten bill-ee-on bucks, puh-lease! (ho ho ho ho)

I need bling you know

Recession’s hit me bad

So if I do not get some dough

All kids will be sad!

BOOO!

.

Jingle bells, Santa smells

Like Tiger Woods’ cologne

Even he, has messages

For sex from Tiger’s phone, hey!

Jingle bells, your Mom smells

Like Tiger Woods’ cologne

If you check, I’d bet there’s text

For sex from Ti-grrrr’s phone!

YEAH!

(with fist pump)

.

TMZ complied

Gave Santa what he asked

So kids now have toys

And they all are glad! (ha ha ha ha)

As for old Tiger

He asked for privacy

But if that is not possible

Unlimited text for free!

BEEP!

.

Jingle bells, Santa smells

Like Tiger Woods’ cologne

Even he, has messages

For sex from Tiger’s phone, hey!

Jingle bells, your Mom smells

Like Tiger Woods’ cologne

If you check, I’d bet there’s text

For sex from Ti-grrrr’s phone!

YEAH!

(with fist pump)

.

(bedroom) key change

Jingle bells, Santa smells

Like Tiger Woods’ cologne

Even he, has messages

For sex from Tiger’s phone, hey!

Jingle bells, your Mom smells

Like Tiger Woods’ cologne

If you check, I’d bet there’s text

For sex –

from –

Ti-

grrrr’s –

phone!

(in full diva vibrato, please!)

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SHOULD TRY Facebook Picture Tagging Meme

Contrary to the slightly nasty Facebook picture tagging meme of people who Should NOT do certain things given on Friday the 13th, this is a positive one to encourage people to try certain things as you think they should. The next one should be pretty fun!

Here’s how to get this graphic for your Facebook fun:

  • Click on the picture below to get it at full size.
  • Right click on that picture and save to your computer.
  • Upload it to your Facebook profile.
  • Tag your friends!
  • Click the Back button on your browser to return to this post.

Please click here for a complete list of over 100 Facebook picture tagging memes on this site with which you can use for fun with your friends.

In case you don’t recognize some of these people, they are as follows, left to right:

  • Top: LeBron James, Christie Brinkley, the current Dalai Lama, Emily Dickinson, Tiger Woods
  • Middle: Wangari Matthai, Pope Benedict the whatever, Canadian flag maple leaf, Barack Obama, Miley Cyrus
  • Bottom: Bill Gates, Arianna Huffington, Brad Pitt, Rihana, Lang Lang

I’m too tired to put links to all these people but you can Google them, and maybe guess why I’ve put labeled each as such.

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