Where Did Blossom Dearie Get Her Nasty Blues?

Blossom Dearie has a very uniform identity of femininity, from her girlie name to her 50s June Cleaver looks to her pipsqueak of a voice that could hardly be heard from the second floor balcony, so it’s been written. She also chooses to sing very cutesy or romantic songs, among which Once Upon a Summertime (playable MP3) is my favourite, among her songs and all the other versions out there.

But one day, Blossom got the blues… and what nasty blues they were, too!

My name is Blossom
I was raised in a lion’s den
My name is Blossom
I was raised in a lion’s den
My nightly occupation
Stealing other women’s men

I’m an evil, evil woman
But I want to do a man — some good
I’m an evil, evil woman
But I want to do a man — some good

I’m Gina Lola Bridgietta
I ain’t Red Riding Hood
If you don’t like my peaches, baby, why do you shake my tree?
If you don’t like my peaches, baby, why do you shake my tree?
Get out of my orchard, baby
Let my peach tree be

Now don’t you ooh skoodlia doo skoodlia dee
And I won’t ya ya doo doo doo doo
If you don’t ooh skookdlia doo skoodlia dee
Then I won’t ya ya doo doo doo doo
So don’t you ooh skoodla doo skoodli dee
And I won’t ya ya doo doo doo doo

Some men like me cause I’m happy
Some think I’m snappy
Some call me honey
And some think I’ve got money

But Grey Brown told me that I was built for speed

You put them all together
Everything a good man needs
You put them all together
Everything a good man needs

Now, for such a nasty blues, Blossom doesn’t exactly have the style to deliver it with conviction, in my opinion. However, to her credit, within her style that’s pretty much the opposite of nasty blues, she did the song very well. I guess Blossom only gets that nasty in person, though what’s underneath, from the lyrics above, is something else all together!

But you know what I’d like to see from this tune? Some nasty diva who could really sing it perform it! There are a few live versions on YouTube, but I didn’t like any of them. They weren’t quite at the “destination” for jazzitude, in my opinion, and I’d rather take Blossom’s reserved, but genuine, interpretation any day.

C’mon divas. Someone step up and due to the tune some justice. Must I cross-dress to do it in karoake for YouTube to give it some justice? 😉

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