If you’ve been on Facebook, you’ve probably seen these status posts. Some preamble of cause and/or condition, out of all my family and friends, I’m going to bet that less than X will take the time to put this on their wall to help cause or condition in preamble. So surprise me and prove me wrong! Really, people? I have no problem with your cause or condition, but do you really think doing something like this will leaving you feeling better for it all? Because if not, why do it? So let’s explore if you might end up feeling better for it.
Am I More Selfish in my Independence?
Somewhere, at some time in my life, I remember hearing some anecdotal, or weakly scientific, talk about how people who are more independent being more selfish. It was something along the lines of if you don’t let others care much about you, then you won’t care much about others. There was also something similar with loneliness, which is independence in some ways but seemingly more by circumstance than by choice, and there’s a tiny study (just 229 people) for that, which I’m not going to put any value in. Even if it were good, one has to consider one’s own situation to see if it were applicable to oneself since anyone can be the exception to the norm. That’s what being human is all about, isn’t it?
My Facebook Penalties and Hierarchies
When you see and hear enough from a big group of people over time, like on Facebook, somebody is bound to annoy, anger, or make you feel negatively sooner or later. When there’s a big enough group of people able to see pictures and information you share about your life, like on Facebook, you probably don’t want to give everybody the same access. When I have to deal with a big enough group of people for these things, like on Facebook, I get really judgmental and lay down the law in my Facebook account and newsfeed to not only minimize all the negativity that might come out of this, but have a little fun to take control back immediate with some fun actions that have no consequence to those people, and just benefits to me.
If You Can’t Be Friends, Try to Be Frenemies
When it comes to being friends or enemies, is it better to be friends with someone some of the time rather than not at all? That is, can’t one be both in some capacity rather than solely one or the other? Is friendship a case of some being better than none, or a case of all or nothing where none is preferable if all could not be had? You know where I stand on this from my quote if you can’t be friends, try to be frenemies.
Definition: Gezellegheid (Dutch)
[ pronounced geZELeHed ]
Dutch word to describe a feeling of snug in a homely place with friends.
- From the TEDTalk below (at about 2:13), by Tiffany Watt Smith, which includes a bunch of emotions where there are no words in English, but which you may well have experienced, but never had one single word to describe them! Or which you may go out and try to see if you can conjure up the feeling from hints in its definition for where and/or under what conditions one might experience it.