12 Days of Vietnamese Christmas (a parody Christmas carol)

This is a polite parody of the 12 Days of Christmas carol. The song is in the video below, if you need a reminder. I have chosen the version with John Denver and the Muppets because I am quite fond of it.

The small difference is to that version and my lyrics that you sing my version with the 5th and 10th days being diva moments, not just the fifth (Miss Piggy in the video about the “golden rings”). You’re supposed to sing it with two diva moments so I’m not sure why Porky Diva herself didn’t take advantage of that.

Also, in being a little more creative than the original with the lyrics for the 6th to 12th days, make sure you don’t sing them too fast cause you’d probably find it a might tough tongue twister!

My other Christmas carol parody lyrics:

On the (x) day of Christmas,

My true love gave to me…

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Twelve Viet Cong Commies

Eleven Buddha statues

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Ten – ao, dai, xanh!!! *

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Nine knock off Polos

Eight egg rolls rolling

Seven cups of fish sauce

Six pairs of chopsticks

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Five – bowls, of, rice!!!! (ba dum yum yum)

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Four incense sticks

Three moon cakes

Two growing pills

And a free trip home to Viet Nam!

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* Read ow, yai, sanh (nasal sound). Ao dai xanh means green long dress, which is a Vietnamese traditional outfit mostly worn by girls and women.

Bad Christmas (parody lyrics for White Christmas)

These are parody or spoof lyrics for the well-known Christmas carol, White Christmas. The classic version of this is by Bing Crosby with Marjorie Reynolds from the movie Holiday Inn in 1942. The video is shown below, from which you can learn the parody lyrics below that. Just imagine the two of them dressed like gangstas or something singing the lyrics below, heheheh!

My other Christmas carol parody lyrics:

I’m dreaming of a bad Christmas

Just like the ones I used to know

Smoking marijuana

Beating up Santa

Peeing my name in the snow

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I’m dreaming of a bad Christmas

With every Christmas gift I steal

Leaving young, and old folks, quite sad

Making all, their Christmases quite bad

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(repeat verse with your partner in crime, then add the line below)

I make all your Christmases quite bad!

Have Yourself a Bummer of a Christmas (parody lyrics for Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas)

The lyrics below the video are parody or spoof lyrics to the carol Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. The video demonstrates the carol, if you are not familiar with it or need a refreshment or check details of the tune. It is a beautiful version by John Denver and Rowlf the Dog of the Muppets, from 1979. Credits to my friend Lorie for introducing me to this video and album.

I’ve always thought the melody of this song to be a tad wistful, even if I can totally see its appropriateness for a pensive and reflective carol that the original is. John and Rowlf did an exceptional job of that. But because of its wistfulness in tune, that was where I got the idea for these parody lyrics.

My other Christmas carol parody lyrics:

Have yourself a bummer of a Christmas

Hope you get no-thing

But the blues, loneliness and bills from shopping

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Have yourself a bummer of a Christmas

May your tree burn down

With your house, and everything else around

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Leaving you, homeless in the streets

Nothing on your feet, and cold

With no friend, who is near to you

Who is dear to you, to hold

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Through the years, this always seems to happen

Every Christmas Day

So go on, go burn down other people’s homes

You’ll have friends on, that bummer of a Christmas Day


What’s Your Song of Religion? (Part 5 of 7 on the World in Six Songs)

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Book and Theory Background

Daniel J. Levitin wrote an absolutely brilliant book called The World in Six Songs, supported by a great website with the many music samples referenced, among other great related material.

My basic paraphrasing of the concept is this. All the songs in the world could be fit into at least one of six categories providing an evolutionary benefit to humanity, often ultimately tied to our social nature.

The book and website offer far more detailed interpretations, of course, but I will expand on my paraphrasing with each post and the associated topic.

Daniel J. Levitin and The World in Six SongsIn a series of posts, I will describe each of the six categories in brief, one at a time:

  1. Friendship
  2. Joy
  3. Comfort
  4. Knowledge
  5. Religion
  6. Love

I will describe what the categories are about because they are not as limited in scope as the category names suggest. I will then supply one of my choices and ask all readers to do the same if they so wish. In the seventh post of the series, I will offer the chance to put the song choices all together so readers can read the entire set on one post. I do this because it would be a long post to describe all six categories at once, but to have all the answers in one place might be nice.

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This post focuses on Songs of Religion

July 30th add-on in italics, from Dan Levitin in a summary article
Religious ceremonies and ritual go hand in hand, with music frequently accompanying a ritual. Music acts as a retrieval mechanism to guide the movements and words of a particular ritual, and ritual can allow people to stop worrying and focus on the task at hand. Music is also tied to religious ceremonies such as weddings and funerals where acts can be performed as a community, providing social bonding.

Songs of religion are not simply songs about religion. In fact, the songs of knowledge post showed how the Oral Torah was really a song of knowledge, not religion, even if its lyrics were all about religion. Songs of religion are really ritual songs intended to give meaning to something greater than just the subject itself. Furthermore, this meaning is attached to a belief system that establishes some sort of “social” order, both, less and more than us. It is this search for meaning, a self-conscious act of awareness on our part, for our place in this order which truly separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom. However, it is what we embrace in this search, in turn, that has benefited us in evolution.

In our search for something greater that is part of our religious beliefs, we embrace sets of rituals that exist in all religions. Religion gives meaning to these rituals that have little meaning on their own otherwise. Just look at rituals in religions foreign to you and see how you feel about them compared to those in your own. However, those not familiar with your religion would have no different overall reactions to rituals in your religion. Pages 194-195 has a great list of 11 rituals universal to all religions, though, which is an absolutely fascinating read!

Now, the rituals of religion come in two flavours: self-rituals and group rituals. Self-rituals tend to be of the type which promotes survival, like not murdering others or coveting their mates which could cause conflict among us that is not good for survival. Rituals also mean the actions get repeated, which helps survival if all the actions were good for survival. As for religion’s role, religion gives self-ritual self-meaning, like what it could mean for someone in their current and/or afterlife. Religion also monitors external and internal states for danger in guiding rituals to be done at various times throughout life.

Like it does for self-rituals, religion gives group rituals group meaning and monitors internal and external states to the group. This is the more important benefit to evolution when compared to the self. This is because group rituals promote group activities, which not only protect us from ourselves but also from other factors of harm to us, and better than individuals could do alone. Group rituals are essential to religion because one cannot find a place within a greater social order if there were no one or nothing else around oneself to create this social order.

Finally, all rituals, with their meanings given by religion, are intended to reduce ambiguity in life by changing the state of the world into something more exacting. It also lets us move on with our lives with the direction given so we don’t subject ourselves to situations not beneficial to our survival.

At this point, I would like to insert a note to say that while the general big picture descriptions of religion described in the World in Six Songs are beneficial to evolution, when it comes to the main organized religions in human history, I’m not sure I would concur. I think modern organized religions have become so warped from the spirit of religion’s concept I would debate whether it has had net benefit on humanity or net hindrance. Ironically, this has been since we supposedly have become “civilized”. So much wrong has been done in the name of organized religion, or hidden by it, that I really do think we could do better without it. I think we’d be better off if we only embraced religion in its intent rather than its meanings that it often has no business giving. Organized religion is just a pretense to guide us as if those leading it knew what were happening when they have no idea.

Songs associated with rituals mean there is a time and a place for songs of religion, with consequences. Thus, funeral and wedding marches count, but not national anthems or Christmas carols. There are places and times for national anthems, football fight songs and Christmas carols when you could break out in one or the other, and there wouldn’t be much problem. Try the same with funeral or wedding marches, especially the former, and there might well be. Children’s songs where participants move parts of their body selectively also count as songs of religion because of their ritualistic nature. This practice to develop motor coordination through repetition when we are young and learning is also of benefit to us evolutionally. Finally, gospel songs are religious songs, and it was mentioned that Dan Dennett had suggested that atheists should have pro science gospel songs as atheism doesn’t have gospel religious songs — a thought I, both, like and found tremendously amusing.

Audio sample of songs from the Religion chapter in The World in Six Songs can be found on the website. No direct link was available, but click on the Songs menu option and appropriate page number range link carrying pages 189 to 228. Please note that not all songs are meant as samples of Religion songs. Some are just referenced material in the book text.

Overall, I found this chapter on songs of religion to be very profound and deep, as it should be considering the subject matter. Despite the long post, I have only touched upon the many things Daniel Levitin touched upon for which there is much to think about each.

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Author Daniel Levitin chose

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My choice for Song of Religion is

Lacrymosa , by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart from his incomplete Requiem (funeral music), K. 626, that is magnificent from beginning to end.

It seems the current opinion is that only the first 8 bars were actually written by Mozart, with the rest under instruction for completion. However, listening to it, sounds like the instructions were pretty complete to me.

I have had the pleasure to sing this piece in choir and, well, let’s just say when you hear this piece with all the parts around you, singing one part, that’s when you really “get” the genius of Mozart.

I have also heard this version sung whereby the choir stopped at where it was thought Mozart stopped composing (I believed that version was about 8 bars into the vocal section), and they just stopped dead and walked off. It was so moving, the reminder that Fate doesn’t care for what we do and stops where it wants, that I cried in realizing the finality of it all.

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Frederic Chopin’s Funeral March, from his Sonata No. 2 in B flat minor, Op. 35, also works well. This version is by Vladimir Horowitz. Masterful!
(the music, not video which is just black which might be appropriate but boring as heck)

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Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Pie Jesu from his Requiem is also a favourite of mine. I have also sung this in choir. Sissel Kyrkjebø does a beautiful job here!

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I don’t know what to say about all the funeral music selections here. I LOVE classical funeral music for some reason. It gives me such peace and lets me focus incredibly well. I especially like writing anything I need to focus and be concise on to it. Obviously, I don’t blog to it. :-)

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What is your choice for Song of Religion?

Please leave your choice as a comment.

Lyrics and YouTube/audio link would greatly enhance your answer so readers can know more about your choice. They are not necessary, though, and not possible if no lyrics or version exist.

You can include songs you wrote as a choice, too!

Flesch-Kincaid Grade Reading Level: 10.7

Discovering Nellie McKay from TED.com of All Places

 

If you can’t tell from all the TED.com videos in my VodPod Collection at lower right, TED.com is my inspirational and education addiction. However, as the site theme says, I’m interested in it mostly for “ideas worth spreading”. I know they have music on the site, but they weren’t often “ideas” of the type I was interested in. However, I stumbled upon the music of Nellie McKay today and it made me laugh a great deal… enough I thought it was worth blogging about because this singer/songwriter is fabulous! That’s a compliment from a listener and singer/songwriter points of view, of which I am both. Have a listen and see if you agree!

More info about Nellie McKay can be found on her site.

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Clonie (partial lyrics)

This song is about what Nellie thinks of having a clone could mean to her… and supposedly “the evils of science”. I’ll let her tell you the rest. Make sure you listen carefully. It’ll be hard to when you’re laughing your head off. From TED 2008.

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The Dog Song (lyrics)

I’ll go sad on this one, although it is a beautiful tribute to her former dog, Carmello. From TED 2008.

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A Christmas Dirge

This is a sad song but shows Nellie’s caring perspective about all the useless superficialities of Christmas.

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Mother of Pearl (lyrics) and If I Had You

The first of these two songs has the first line of “Feminists don’t have a sense of humor”, which, according to TED, was “immortal”. I couldn’t have agreed more. So is the rest of it. And the ukulele is priceless! From TED 2008.