A Good Way to Use Tim Hortons Butternut Squash Soup

June 21, 2024March 23, 2024Digital Citizen 2 Comments

I’m no fan of canned soup, let’s be clear on that. However, I will make use of it under the right conditions, like if someone gives it to me. I just won’t use it on its own, but rather as a shortcut to something much more delicious. Recently, someone gave me a can of Tim Hortons Butternut Squash Soup, and this is what I mean by how I use it.

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Jingle Bells for Tiger Woods (parody lyrics for Jingle Bells)

December 21, 2009December 5, 2018Digital Citizen 6 Comments

These are parody or spoof lyrics for the well-known carol, Jingle Bells, like in the video below. I think I have an extra couple of verses, but I needed them to make the story complete.

I was going to write something with the chorus starting as Jingle bells, Santa smells, but the ongoing stories about Tiger Woods somehow influenced me to turn this into a Tiger Woods parody so I have now officially joined the Tiger bashing phenomenon. This was not something intentional from the start, but my disappointment in the development of Tiger’s life didn’t stop me, either. Tiger’s been a big source of inspiration over the years for his on course performance and how well his image was managed, and I knew it was managed. I know nobody is perfect, but this whole scandal was really over the top, which would be Tiger-esque for how he does everything in life. I wish his family the best in resolving this as best as possible, cause it ain’t gonna be pretty one way or another.

I still have Peyton Manning as an active role model figure, of sorts, aside from the real ones in my life like my Parents. I also have Wayne Gretzky and Michael Jordan from the past, with Taylor Swift becoming one for a class act that she is.

Enjoy!

My other Christmas carol parody lyrics:

Peeing in the snow

From a one horse open sleigh

Over the fields we go

Laughing all the way (ha ha ha ha)

Telling stories of

Tiger’s cheating ways

And how he got careless and caught

With sex text sent astray

YES!

.

Jingle bells, Santa smells

Like Tiger Woods’ cologne

Even he, has messages

For sex from Tiger’s phone, hey!

Jingle bells, your Mom smells

Like Tiger Woods’ cologne

If you check, I’d bet there’s text

For sex from Ti-grrrr’s phone!

YEAH!

(with fist pump)

.

A day or two ago

Santa got this message twice

Meet me in the snow

And be naughty not nice (ha ha ha ha)

Tiger sent it to

Some women that he knew

But instead Tiger sent it to

Santa’s hot line, too!

OOOPS!

.

Jingle bells, Santa smells

Like Tiger Woods’ cologne

Even he, has messages

For sex from Tiger’s phone, hey!

Jingle bells, your Mom smells

Like Tiger Woods’ cologne

If you check, I’d bet there’s text

For sex from Ti-grrrr’s phone!

YEAH!

(with fist pump)

.

With Tiger’s stray sex text

Santa went to TMZ

Asked with confidence

Ten bill-ee-on bucks, puh-lease! (ho ho ho ho)

I need bling you know

Recession’s hit me bad

So if I do not get some dough

All kids will be sad!

BOOO!

.

Jingle bells, Santa smells

Like Tiger Woods’ cologne

Even he, has messages

For sex from Tiger’s phone, hey!

Jingle bells, your Mom smells

Like Tiger Woods’ cologne

If you check, I’d bet there’s text

For sex from Ti-grrrr’s phone!

YEAH!

(with fist pump)

.

TMZ complied

Gave Santa what he asked

So kids now have toys

And they all are glad! (ha ha ha ha)

As for old Tiger

He asked for privacy

But if that is not possible

Unlimited text for free!

BEEP!

.

Jingle bells, Santa smells

Like Tiger Woods’ cologne

Even he, has messages

For sex from Tiger’s phone, hey!

Jingle bells, your Mom smells

Like Tiger Woods’ cologne

If you check, I’d bet there’s text

For sex from Ti-grrrr’s phone!

YEAH!

(with fist pump)

.

(bedroom) key change

Jingle bells, Santa smells

Like Tiger Woods’ cologne

Even he, has messages

For sex from Tiger’s phone, hey!

Jingle bells, your Mom smells

Like Tiger Woods’ cologne

If you check, I’d bet there’s text

For sex –

from –

Ti-

grrrr’s –

phone!

(in full diva vibrato, please!)

12 Days of Vietnamese Christmas (a parody Christmas carol)

December 19, 2009December 16, 2017Digital Citizen Leave a comment

This is a polite parody of the 12 Days of Christmas carol. The song is in the video below, if you need a reminder. I have chosen the version with John Denver and the Muppets because I am quite fond of it.

The small difference is to that version and my lyrics that you sing my version with the 5th and 10th days being diva moments, not just the fifth (Miss Piggy in the video about the “golden rings”). You’re supposed to sing it with two diva moments so I’m not sure why Porky Diva herself didn’t take advantage of that.

Also, in being a little more creative than the original with the lyrics for the 6th to 12th days, make sure you don’t sing them too fast cause you’d probably find it a might tough tongue twister!

My other Christmas carol parody lyrics:

**On the (x) day of Christmas,**

My true love gave to me…

.

Twelve Viet Cong Commies

Eleven Buddha statues

Ten – ao, dai, xanh!!! *

.

Nine knock off Polos

Eight egg rolls rolling

Seven cups of fish sauce

Six pairs of chopsticks

Five – bowls, of, rice!!!! (ba dum yum yum)

Four incense sticks

Three moon cakes

Two growing pills

And a free trip home to Viet Nam!

* Read ow, yai, sanh (nasal sound). Ao dai xanh means green long dress, which is a Vietnamese traditional outfit mostly worn by girls and women.

Noisy Night (parody lyrics for Silent Night)

December 13, 2009December 16, 2017Digital Citizen Leave a comment

This is a polite parody or spoof of the Silent Night carol. The idea with this song is you get the kids to make as much noise at the end of every line as possible, as well as act out all the actions prescribed.

A version of the song is at the below. I’ve chosen about as beautiful a version as I know, with Norwegian soprano Sissel singing it. This is for contrast to the lyrics you’re about to read, though I don’t recommend you try singing at Sissel’s pitch. 🙂

My other Christmas carol parody lyrics:

Noisy night, crazy night,

Let us yell, let us fight,

Run, around, and scream, your lungs out,

Wave, your arms, and jump, and then shout,

MOM! NOT NOW! I’m on THE – PHONE!

And Dad, please leave, me alone!

Noisy night, crazy night,

Let us burp, through the night,

Burp, with pride, as if, you are proud,

Long, then short, then qui-et, then loud,

Burp, the words, “so let’s, have – fun!”

Turn to your friend, burp, and then run!

Noisy night, crazy night,

Let us fart, through the night,

Fart, with pride, as if, you are proud,

Long, then short, then qui-et, then loud,

They, all stink, so let’s, have – fun!

Go to, a friend, fart, and then run!

Bad Christmas (parody lyrics for White Christmas)

December 11, 2009December 24, 2020Digital Citizen Leave a comment

These are parody or spoof lyrics for the well-known Christmas carol, White Christmas. The classic version of this is by Bing Crosby with Marjorie Reynolds from the movie Holiday Inn in 1942. The video is shown below, from which you can learn the parody lyrics below that. Just imagine the two of them dressed like gangstas or something singing the lyrics below, heheheh!