Don’t You Love a Good World Drama like with the Chilean Miners?

Like a tens of millions of people around the world, I am watching the final phases leading to the rescue capsule attempt to extract the first of 33 Chilean miners trapped for 68 days now. I really am, blogging during commercials.

There always seems to be “big” breaking news these days, especially on all news network like CNN or CBC Newsworld in Canada. However, every once in a while, something really big comes along, and it is really something to see and feel the world focused on an event like this. I know people watching. I see updates on my Facebook page. I can see people watching walking around in public areas with television screens. Even some sports bars have this drama instead of sports because, in all honesty, it’s far more drama than any sport can provide.

Speaking of television, I wonder what the event will do to the television ratings of shows tonight? And who’s going to be saying I was watching (fill in a Tuesday night show) instead of this at the water cooler at work on Wednesday? What are people going to think of them?

I’m not one to be glued to the television, and definitely not a news junkie, but I can’t remember being this captivated by news since 9/11, and then the start of the Iraq War before that in the 1990s. Very fortunately, this has a much more hopeful and inspirational tone.

But let’s not forget, things could still go wrong. They talk about the potential technical problems. They talk about the potential problems with the physical and mental health of the men as they will take this journey up the shaft back into the world, and the journey back into the social world as everything would have changed in their lives. Not just by the event but family dynamics that made due without them. Roles will have been changed and may forever be changed. Some will use the mine ordeal as excuses to warrant deserving any number of things in their relationships, which will only be tolerated for some time. Certainly, potential career changes will have to be contemplated as going back down into a mine for the next shift won’t be so easy. There will be the media and social circus that some won’t handle well, whether from stress or new opportunities for which they will abandon their old families and/or livelihood given the temptations of fame, and maybe money that comes with it as far as interviews, book and/or movie deals, etc. So much to adapt to and handle that I wonder if 5 or 10 years from now, some of the miners might say the time after the ordeal was more difficult for them to handle than the ordeal itself of being trapped for all that time. Most people can’t handle fame, you know… even the ones who have been living in it for a long time.

Despite all the things anticipated, I can’t help wonder if there might be any potential drama back in the mine when the time comes to get the men out one by one. There’s been a list drawn up, but what if someone decides to buck that at the last moment? It might be out of panic not to have to wait so long, or maybe for some other reasons. There will be rescuers sent down who could be taken hostage, and so on. Humans are a little unpredictable in that sense.

And they will have to repeat this journey 33 miners times so there are plenty of opportunities for things to go wrong.

And what then when something goes wrong? Will they cut off the coverage?

Well, I’ll try not to think about it. Let’s not anyone think about it.

Positive thinking from here on in for everyone’s safety. It might take 2-3 days in total for everyone to get out so after the euphoria of the first rescue, there will still be lots of anticipation and one more spike when the last person comes up.

In the meanwhile, I’ll go and pray. I’m not religious, but I’m not against praying to all the deities out there, either. Let’s just say I believe in praying.

Best wishes to the Chilean miners for a safe return to the surface and to a more regular life. The world is with you.

Flesch-Kincaid Grade Reading Level: 7.7

Would You Commit Vigilante Justice to Stop Severe Bullying on Your Kids if the System Couldn’t?

Parents generally say they’d die to save their kids if ever in such a situation. Would they really? Bullying in America might just put that to the test soon. See why and take the survey at the end.

There is a bullying epidemic going on in America. For all the awareness being done about it, there doesn’t seem to be anything more concrete that is producing actions and results. Ellen Degeneres puts out a message that goes viral. People around the country wear pink for a day. However, while people are listening, they all seem just to shake their heads at the problem and get on with their lives afterward.

We just hear more stories about kids and young adults committing suicide over bullying, often with a history in each case where the signs were all there, but that the system just ignored them and failed the people involved. It was bad enough in Mentor, Ohio, a very prevalent CNN Top 100 Places to Live neighbourhood, that 4 bullied teens has committed suicide, one after another, and all the school could say was that complaints lodged were deleted during a computer transfer (Yahoo Oct 8 2010). The family even had to watch the bullies come past the open casket at the wake and laugh at their daughter lying there dead!

I don’t know what the answer is to stop the rash of bullying going on in America, but I’m pretty sure it’s going to take a concerted effort from the top to the bottom. There needs to be some visible leadership to get some laws in to make it a heavily punishable crime. The people in the system, especially the school system, needs to buy in to watch for signs and take complaints more seriously. However, I think the most crucial element will be the “organic” one from everyday people because you can put in all the laws you want, if you can’t enforce them, they’re no good. It takes a presence to see or notice things going on in order to prove, if not stop in the moment, the bullying going on. If the cops could do that to the level needed to stop bullying, there’d be no epidemic like there currently is. Local grass roots movements are going to have to be set up and mobilized to reduce the bullying, whether by preventing it in the first place or providing enough evidence to convict those guilty. If not, I am afraid that sooner or later, there will follow a rash of stories about Parents taking justice into their own hands to commit violence against the bullying kids and young adults, to try and stop the bullying, because they just feel nothing else can be done.

Am I crazy to think this? Try this train of thought, then answer the poll at the end.

As a Parent, would you be willing to die to save your kid’s life if a situation let you make this decision?

Whether you are a Parent or not, I think you know the perception in society is that a lot of good Parents would say “yes”.

Well, committing assault or murder against some kids to stop severe bullying on your kids is just a situation. In some cases, there are plenty of signs, and complaints lodged just go unanswered for years, like that in Mentor, Ohio. That’s plenty of time to think about “stepping in” with some vigilante justice. It’s not even a sudden situation like a car underwater and you have to make a decision to get your kids out before you to save them while dying in the process. This can be thought about, or come to a boiling point for rash action one day. Furthermore, you probably don’t even have to die for it. Just plea bargain for life in prison, if it’s murder, or plea guilty for less penalty if it’s not murder as the death penalty might not apply. What jury wouldn’t “understand” your choice? The jury might still give you a lighter sentence or acquit you even if you don’t plea guilty. There have been far more ridiculous acquittals than a crime for your “cause”. And because it’s usually more than one person doing the bullying, you could save the world a bunch of bullies for one “life”. Isn’t “fair trade” in these days?

Is that what it’s going to take before anybody does anything about this bullying?

I would certainly hope not! But how much patience does America have? Wait. America and patience?

Also, let’s hope the Parents of kids who committed suicide over bullying don’t take any drastic actions after their kids’ death, either, when they may perceive there isn’t anything else to live for. Hey, lots of people do revenge killings for things far less than their children. Killing out of revenge for your kid’s death is pretty real, in my mind.

I hope America will stop its soul searching soon and get doing something about this bullying epidemic. There’s no need for soul searching here. It’s just wrong! So get going to do something about it.

What can be done you might ask?

Well, how’s about forming something like a voluntary citizen neighbourhood patrol? Or have a group of people willing to accompany the bully victims where they aren’t under supervision, like the walks to and from school, or even in school over lunch and such? Just one person with a victim would do. It doesn’t have to even be someone big and strong, either. Just having another person there to be a credible witness would deter a lot of bullies. One bullied student’s story versus a group that lie together to defend themselves may be hard to win a case on, but one adult who can confirm the bullied student’s story turns the tables completely. Get a group together where individuals could be called upon as cases arise. It’s voluntary, but I hear there are a lot of unemployed Americans these days. Surely there must be some among them who would be willing to step up, if not some retired people and just other good citizens able to find the time.

Schools could also have more supervision around, and rules about what students could be kicked out for, whether kicked out of school or just the lunch cafeteria. Give the bullied students some places of solace. Take their complaints more seriously.

While none of this would likely ever stop the bullying, it probably could relieve it enough that far fewer students might get to the point of suicide. It might not be cool for the bullied student to be viewed as needing an adult to protect them, but I don’t think being cool is their first priority in life under the circumstances.

Meanwhile, get some laws in to make punishments for bullying real to those who do it. They’re mostly not yet adults. They’ll not likely be charged with a lot of jail time anyway. So just put in a bill for some jail time for starters.

And continue the awareness efforts. Just make sure there’s more to go with it.

It’ll be interesting to see where this goes in the next couple of years. Let’s hope it’ll never get to Parents committing violence on the kids. But in the meanwhile, the question lingers in my mind.

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Notes:

I am not a Parent so I am not writing this with emotional blindness a Parent might. I can only imagine the situation. Yet, I feel it is realistic enough a situation that I think if I were a Parent, I might just answer “yes” to my own poll.

As for the bullies, ironically, they’re the ones with the least self-esteem. Not able to succeed in life by the measures the rest of society uses to determine success, they have to gang up on individuals just to feel good about themselves… and they can’t even do it alone. Unfortunately for them, life doesn’t afford them this opportunity for ever. It’ll only be a matter of time before their loser status catches up to them, and it’ll be a lot harder to dig out later in life than earlier. Too bad they’re too stupid to realize this.

Flesch-Kincaid Grade Reading Level: 8.0

As of Oct 8 2010, Try Harder NOT to Get Arrested in Canada

A Canadian Supreme Court ruling came down today that limits access to lawyers for people being questioned by police regarding a criminal case.

The Supreme Court of Canada ruled that a person questioned by police in connection with a criminal case does not have the right to have a lawyer present during the interview. The Supreme Court also said a suspect doesn’t have the right to re-consult with a lawyer midway through an interview, unless the situation in the interview has changed significantly. Finally, the court said a suspect does not have the absolute right to consult with a specific lawyer if that attorney can’t be reached within a reasonable time.
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– Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC, Oct 8 2010)

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I’m no lawyer, but in the spirit of free speech, I’ll throw in an opinion.

I’m siding with the decision here. I do think suspects have too much access and counsel to “prepare” themselves for questioning by police. Really, if you’re innocent, a little preparation to make sure you say what you need to properly, which isn’t necessarily the “right” thing to say, is all you need. Extensive counseling from lawyers so you don’t incriminate yourself basically alludes just that, even if you’re presumed innocent till proven guilty. That’s an ideal, and we all know humans aren’t ideal people, as much as we strive for it.

But I write this post because I have a practical piece of advice to those worried about this split 5-4 ruling.

Try harder NOT to get arrested.

This ruling will then have no direct significance to them. If they worry about it affecting them indirectly through those they know and/or love, advise them of the same thing. More common sense in the world means less legal system.

I’m not encouraging people to be better criminal while in Canada so as not to get caught. I’m encouraging people to stay within the law in Canada.

Save the tax system some money. Save the yourself some hassle. Save the lawyers some income.

Flesch-Kincaid Grade Reading Level: 7.5

Remove 5 Facebook Friends Challenge

Nov 6 2010 update:
This article just became much more relevant after Facebook introduced the Facebook Friendship Page feature on Oct 29, 2010.

Many, if not most, Facebook users have more friends on their Facebook Friends list than are good for them. Having more Facebook Friends means more people are watching you. There more people to waste your time, even if just having to sift through their updates to find ones from people you care about. There are also more people who could use something on your profile against you in some way, even if it’s just gossip, possibly from misunderstandings or unintentionally. We’re not even talking about potential creeps and malicious people here, who you don’t know well but had casually added as Facebook friends over time.

On a different topic, there are all kinds of Facebook memes, or trends, going on all the time. Facebook tagging is big. Facebook notes get passed along. There was that 25 Things You Didn’t Know About Me thing that only helped making your ID easier to steal. Then there were the baby photos or retro photos trend that also helped in the case.

So how’s about putting the two together for something useful?

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A challenge to remove 5 Facebook Friends and pass it on!

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These would be “friends” in the loosest sense of the word, of course, not any real friends. I don’t think most people need any help to do this challenge if they want to take it up. That’s how frivolous I think the Facebook Friends thing has become for most Facebook users. However, if you need help or want to do a more serious purging, check out some of my criteria for identifying Facebook Friends you can remove without a lot of consequences.

I took up my own challenge, of course, and went way over 5.

Can you?

If you don’t take the challenge, maybe just ask yourself, can I remove 5 Facebook Friends from my list? It’ll give you an idea of the state of your Facebook Friends list to where it maybe should be.

If you can remove 5 Facebook Friends from that thought experiment, maybe you ought to reconsider, especially now that you know you can. It’s just some clicking and scrolling now. 🙂

Or try it Facebook tagging style! (obviously you can’t tag these friends’ profiles, but you can tag and type in their names)

Facebook friends dumped tagging meme

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Other Facebook issue posts on my site:

The Prejudices and Privacy Perils of Facebook Quizzes

How to Get Rid of Your Facebook Past

25 Things For Facebook You Can’t Steal My ID With

25 Things You Gave on Facebook to Help Get Your ID Stolen

Una Guía de Netiqueta Práctica para Facebook

Flesch-Kincaid Grade Reading Level: 7.1

Which Facebook Friends Should I Remove?

Nov 6 2010 update:

This article just became much more relevant after Facebook introduced the Facebook Friendship Page feature on Oct 29, 2010.

Most people on Facebook have far more Facebook Friends than friends they have in real life. It is for social networking, after all, not deep friendships. However, every one of those Facebook friends is watching you, in a way, with Facebook’s notifications and updating system. How many stories have you heard about people caught cheating on relationships, lying for jobs or scholarships, and the like, because of something they did on Facebook that was found out by someone else? Even some misunderstandings of your actions and/or comments can be a lot of nuisance. These public mistakes, visible to all your Facebook Friends, are so common now you might even know someone who has been subject to it! But it’s not that a person did something wrong on Facebook that was the problem. It was that it got picked up by someone else who was probably on their Facebook friends’ list. Privacy settings can’t protect against Facebook friends. Well, they can, but if you have settings against Facebook friends, you should just remove them.

Having a Facebook Friends list closer to your real friends list means you have to worry less about who might get you in trouble. You can also misbehave a little bit more without worrying much about the consequences. Don’t kid yourself if you don’t think there are potential consequences. You’ll also waste less time screening through notifications looking for updates by those you really care about in life.

Keeping your Facebook Friends list up to date is the solution to many of the potential problems previously listed. Keeping your Facebook Friends list up to date means removing people from time to time, not just adding them. It is a judgmental act to remove Facebook friends, but seriously, if you made a wrong call, it’s just Facebook friendships. If you’re real friends to any extent in life, they’ll forgive you and you can be Facebook friends again.

So which Facebook friends should you remove? Well, you choose your own criteria. But here are a few I have found useful… in no particular order, and sometimes in combination as they are not absolute.

Do I feel like removing them or care enough to keep them?

I trust my feelings on this one. If I don’t remove them on gut reaction alone, I sometimes override that with other “thinking” criteria below.

Do I know who they are right away?

Some people’s Facebook Friends lists are so large they can really answer “no” to this question for some on their list. “Facebook whales”, or people with over 1000 Facebook friends, may find this criteria interesting to try. If I can’t remember someone on my Facebook Friends list to the extent I know them right away, I chuck them.

Would they remember who I am?

Facebook whales are prime candidates to be tossed under this criteria. It only takes knowing a few hundred people’s names for someone to seem like they remember everybody, but they really don’t. This criteria is a little hard for people to answer “no” to, because it makes them seem so unimportant to someone else. I just suck it up, so if I have any doubt a Facebook Friend might know who I am, I toss them.

Can I name 3 specific things about them not recently on their updates?

Knowing who someone is, is not exactly a deep criteria. If I barely know who a person is on my Facebook Friends list, I often remove them unless I know they will probably be a useful contact for me in the future. These are the people I often added because they might be a useful contact to me in the future, in the first place. I’m not very discerning to add Facebook friends, but I am to remove them.

Do I hide their status updates or block them on my privacy settings?

This one isn’t absolute for me, but I have eliminated Facebook friends on it. With some people, they’re real friends with annoying habits I put up with cause we’re friends. What people put up with in any type of relationship is more than what they’d put up with strangers due to the bond of the relationship. So I hide their statuses but keep them as Facebook Friends. However, if I’m not real friends to some extent, and am annoyed by their status updates, I tend to remove them. I can find other ways to contact them if I really need to. Certainly, if I ever considered blocking people to any extent with my privacy settings, I remove them.

Have I had any contact with them “lately” (like maybe a year or more)?

If I haven’t had any contact with a person in over a year, I usually remove them. Contact doesn’t mean they have to initiate the contact, but that they should respond to contact I have with them. Some people are so bad they don’t do that, in which case, no need to keep them. I can still be friends if we only ever communicate in real life, but there’s no need to have them snoop on me. We can become Facebook friends again later if they appear in my life again. Technical problems I can’t understand is a good way to explain what “happened” to our previous Facebook friendships.

Do they update their Facebook profile?

The main reason I use Facebook was to be in touch with the lives of people. If they don’t update, that defeats this purpose. We likely wouldn’t have had much contact, either, in which case, off they go!

Do I have them to avoid awkwardness?

There are times when I add people to avoid awkwardness, like partners of female friends. After a while, if I don’t develop any type of friendship with those partners, I remove them. They’ll have had their “check-in” time to make sure I’m not after their girlfriends or spouse. I also know I’m not doing that so the partner’s “jealousy” becomes his problem, not mine.

Those are the criteria I have so far. I may have more in the future and will add if so. If you have suggestions, please do share.

Other Facebook issue posts on my site:

The Prejudices and Privacy Perils of Facebook Quizzes

How to Get Rid of Your Facebook Past

25 Things For Facebook You Can’t Steal My ID With

25 Things You Gave on Facebook to Help Get Your ID Stolen

Una Guía de Netiqueta Práctica para Facebook

 

Flesch-Kincaid Grade Reading Level: 7.2