Hey (fat) Girl Friend, Wanna Be My Bridesmaid (so I can look thin)?

July 14, 2010July 16, 2010Digital Citizen Leave a comment

Here’s definitely something to think about the next time you are at a wedding, or see someone’s wedding pictures!

On July 6, the Daily Telegraph in the UK ran a story about how one-third of engaged British women in a survey by Slim Fast admitted they would choose an overweight friend for a bridesmaid to make them look better (i.e. thinner) on their wedding day (and the photos from that day that would be cherished as long as the marriage lasts).

OH MY!!!

That was my first reaction. Insecurity and vanity have gone to new heights! While I’m sure this is nothing new after thinking about it, just the thought shocked me… though I’m not a woman so that would go far to explain why. I did know about women having bigger purses to make them look thinner, tight stuff to hold it in, curved lines to fool the eyes on actual size and shapes of their bodies, having an uglier friend be their “wingman” out on the town so they’d look more attractive (guys do the same thing though not me), etc. But this was way above and beyond that for me because this threw out true friendships for obesity!

OUCH!!!

That was my second reaction. If this ever really got out, every woman who will ever get asked, or not asked, to be a bridesmaid, is probably going to think about this reason as a possibility first. If she didn’t get asked, the reaction might be just a slight snark. If she did get asked, especially when she didn’t think she was among the bride’s top 3-5 friends, she might be outright insulted. Now, I know brides also take bridesmaids from her family or the groom’s family, too, to include them in the wedding party a little more. But hey, now there is a great excuse to eliminate some thin friends without telling them the truth about how insecure you were!

Just the thought you could have been included or excluded among the bridesmaids for your weight is just NASTY!!!

Now, this “one third” group is just those who admitted it! I wonder how many didn’t admit it???

And how many who would undoubtedly be in self-denial about it?

Come on. People are in denial about all sorts of ludicrous things. That’s why admitting you have a problem is truly the first step towards solving it… whether it’d be addiction or something light and simple.

Worse, what do you think those rates would be in America these days, where obesity is literally an epidemic?

Literally means statistically cause they’ve got far more than enough numbers to prove it!

Good Lord!

There were a few other eye opening details from this survey, like how brides diet before their wedding and such. However, they weren’t surprising to me. People, men and women, do all kinds of crap to their bodies that are far worse, and friendships were not at stake here.

There was also a result about how the women surveyed said buying a new outfit boosted their confidence. Hey, you think marketers don’t know this when they advertise to women? And don’t give me the “that’s BRITISH women” or “that doesn’t apply to me” stuff. If it didn’t, the woman is uncommon, if not rarer than that. Too bad the odds are she’s probably not nearly as uncommon as she thinks she is there. That uniqueness affliction is true for all humans as many psychology studies have shown. Also refer to note above on “denial”.

But I especially loved the 40% who said new shoes made them feel better about their appearance. Maybe so, but if that feeling better has anything to do with men looking at them, and a lot of it is, let me share the news the men aren’t likely looking at their feet if the men were checking them over! The eyes stop far above the feet!

That’s enough of all that for now, though. It’s plenty to chew on. But maybe you’d like to answer a couple of these questions knowing results from that SlimFast survey. This is not meant to be scientific or anything. Just throwing some thoughts out there in hopes the people who respond would be honest, and seeing what comes back.

If the Sim Fast survey were correct and you’ve had a chance to be in more than 3 bridesmaid parties in the past 5 years or so, statistics say you should probably answer “yes”.

If the Slim Fast survey were accurate, and you have 3 or more married female friends whose wedding you have attended, statistics say you would probably answer “yes”. Let’s see if the men’s opinion differ from the women’s below. Don’t tell your friends if you answered “yes”, though, cause you know they’ll ask you which friend/s prompted the answer. For women who like to gossip, and there are many who do, this could be “fun” (aka nasty) gossip!

If the Slim Fast survey were accurate, and you have 3 or more married female friends whose wedding you have attended, statistics say you would probably answer “yes”. Compare to the men’s results above. Don’t tell your friends if you answered “yes”, though, cause you know they’ll ask you which friend/s prompted the answer. For women who like to gossip, and there are many who do, this could be “fun” (aka nasty) gossip!

Flesch-Kincaid Grade Reading Level: 6.5

Six Life Philosophies from an Obituary Writer

September 17, 2009January 8, 2023Digital Citizen 3 Comments

The Boston Globe recently had a great short article about six life lessons given by Bryan Marquard, their obituary writer of over 800 obits in the past 3.5 years. His perspective was that he looked at life through the lens of death. The article ended by asking “what have you learned from life”?

I’ll summarize the article here and give a few answers for this post.

1. Be nice.
No matter what you accomplish, how you treat people has a lot to do with how you will be remembered.

2. Don’t be mean.
You can be #1 or #2 without being the other.

3. If you want to live long, retire young…
Leave some time for fun in your life.

4. Or don’t retire at all.
Pursue your passions.

5. You don’t have to be rich – or even have a home.
It’s you, what you are and what you do that matter most.

6. Act now.
Don’t put off what you’ve always wanted to do.

I liked the article because it looks at life through a very different perspective than one that I have. It’s not that I think most people have the view of an obituary writer, but rather how much I stay away from the thought of death. I have never fully read an obituary, even of some people very dear to me. And I don’t have insurance except for where I can’t avoid it, like to drive or insurance with my job. Sure, I appreciate a health plan and such, but insurance is like a constant reminder, with payment, of unfortunate things. As someone who believes that if you think about something enough, it might just happen to you, I stay away from those negative things.

As for some of what I’ve learned from life? For starters, I’ve got 26 life philosophies through this link. But if you’re not interested, I’ll leave three different ones here:

1. Act now, enjoy the moment, but live like there is always a tomorrow.
You couldn’t hope to either truly live every day or moment like it’s the last of your life, or last long doing it.

2. It’s not how you start that matters, but rather how you finish.
Save the best for last, and something better for tomorrow.

3. Everything means more the more you had to earn it.
“Earn” is any kind of effort you have to put in.

If you want lots of life lessons, please check out my blogging buddy’s Lifelessons4u blog. She’s got more life lessons than you could learn in a life time!

In the spirit of how the Boston Globe article ends, please feel free to leave comments regarding

What have you learned in life?

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Flesch-Kincaid Grade Reading Level: 4.2 (pffft! topic is a little beyond grade 4!) 🙂

The Tragedy of Having Your Death Trumped, Farrah Fawcett by Michael Jackson

June 25, 2009June 26, 2009Digital Citizen 10 Comments

Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett

Life is unfair, but death can be, too.

After a life time of achievements, a long public battle with anal cancer, and a “love” story that was never allowed to be completed, Farrah Fawcett died today (June 25 2009).

However, before Farrah’s body even became cold, news broke of the death of larger than life pop star icon Michael Jackson. Jackson collapsed in his home in the Holmby Hills district of Los Angeles at about noon Pacific Standard Time. He died of what is known as sudden cardiac arrest. That’s when the heart stops beating and quivers because an artery is blocked, which could be caused by substance abuse. “Substance” includes prescription drugs, with which Michael was suspected of having trouble. An autopsy is scheduled for June 26, which should be telling. He is survived by three children and two ex-wives. [ CNN story, CNN Larry King Live interview, CBC, June 25 2009]

Now, everything from Twitter to all the news network to Facebook and such is flooded with nothing, and I mean nothing, but the life and death of Michael Jackson. Nobody gives a damn about Farrah Fawcett any more, it seems. Just like that. Forgotten within hours with one piece of news.

Such a shame. Death can be just as unfair as life.

On a different note, though. Despite Michael Jackson’s death being a big shock to the world, the scenes I’m seeing on TV is of people dancing in joy, smiling and laughing to MJ’s music. They’re not crying like the memory I have of John Lennon‘s death, having been in Canada just months when it happened and having no idea who he was at the time because children were so deprived of information in Viet Nam. Lennon’s death was a completely mysterious phenomenon to me trying to figure out what was going on, seeing repeated pictures of all those people crying and pictures of this gentle looking man with those round spectacles.

There are many reasons why people would mourn the deaths of John Lennon and Michael Jackson differently, but I’ll leave that to you. It’s definitely interesting to analyze. I just didn’t expect what I am seeing of people “mourning” Michael’s death, though I am glad to see they are celebrating his life more than mourning his death. Below is a video of Billie Jean, my favourite Michael Jackson song to dance to, and I’m going to go do that like those other people.

In the meanwhile, though, give Farrah Fawcett a thought or two, eh?

And don’t forget all those protesters in Iran, who are dying without mention but whose cause is also now lost on the media for a while. It is about the worst thing that could have happened to them and their cause, to have a pop star steal the media from them. Michael Jackson is still impacting the world like nobody can!

Flesch-Kincaid Grade Reading Level: 8.2