Some Lyrics for Singing Voice Mail Messages

I had written these “voice mail songs” many years ago, when I used to live in Vancouver and we only had answering machines. It was also when I didn’t have to worry about getting “professionals” calling me. If you might have to worry about that, I highly recommend you don’t use these and just enjoy them. The singing messages are about 30 seconds long to sing, which is long for a voice mail, but that’s these lyrics’ “price” of fun. That’s why I recommend no intros, despite some being written as first verses of the songs where you could have the intros.

I sang these lyrics into my answering machines with the real music playing in the background, loud enough so you had the tune, but not nearly loud enough to overpower my voice. Given the recording quality of answering machines then, it was as good as poorly recorded karaoke. That technique can still work today, but given all the tech out there for karoake YouTube videos and recording features right on the cell phones and computers, try recording using the karoake links below with your cell phone or computer recording feature.

Or just record singing solo, unaccompanied.

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Mr Grinch, from the original Dr Seuss Christmas special

This is most appropriate for December, or whenever you feel is appropriate to start having the Christmas theme in your life. However, I don’t think it has to be for December or Christmas. For singing purposes, it is the part from 1:25 in the video below. In the lyrics of the real song in the video link below the lyrics to the karaoke version, it’s the verse that starts with You’re a foul one, Mr Grinch.

Don’t hang up please, like the Grinch,
Leave a message, it’s a cinch!
Leave your number and your name,
And a message if you’re game,
It’s a cin-inch!
The three words that best describe when
Are as follows, and I quote:
“At! The! Beep!”

Mr Grinch Karoake Link to YouTube

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Somethin’ Stupid, by Frank and Nancy Sinatra

This is meant to be recorded straight up from the beginning. To keep your message as short as possible, though, I would recommend skipping the intro and starting at 0:11 of the video below (or the equivalent in the karoaoke video link below the lyrics).

Hello, my friend, you’ve reached (two-syllable name)
But I’m not home to get the phone
And chit-chat with you.
But if you leave a message then, I’m sure that when
I’m home I’ll get in touch with you.
So at the beep please leave your name and number
And why you called me so I won’t be blue.
And then hang up so when I’m home
I’ll know you called and I’ll make sure
I call you…
(I’ll call you –
like at the end of the song)

Somethin’ Stupid Karaoke Link to YouTube

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Rainy Day Women #12 & 35, by Bob Dylan

This one I would absolutely recommend skippping the intro cause it’s 35 seconds long and people will hang up before then, wondering what the heck that music is all about, including if they’ve dialed the correct number. I don’t care if there’s auto-dial these days. They’ll recheck, or think they hit the wrong auto-dial. You’ll have wasted their time, and if it’s long distance, their money. So start at 0:31 or so of the video for a brief lead-in, or the equivalent spot on the karoake video link.

They’ll phone ya when you’re tryin’ to have some fun,
They’ll phone ya when your mind is out to lunch,
They’ll phone ya when you’re tryin’ to make a buck,
They’ll phone ya when you’re tryin’ to get a (beep!),
But never will they phone when you’re at home!
(That’s when) Everybody should get phoned!

Rainy Day Women #12 & 35 Karaoke Link to YouTube

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Games that Lovers Play, by Connie Francis

I think Wayne Newton has the more famous version of this song, but I was not able to find it on YouTube. However, composer James Last wrote it for Connie Francis, specifically, so this is the original version. The intro is pretty short, but I would still skip it and start at 0:09 of the video below. Unfortunately, I was not able to find a karoake link. If you can find either the Wayne Newton version or karoake link, please do share. Thanks!

There are games that many foolish callers play,
Like how some don’t leave a message come what may,
Never caring who gets hurt along the way,
Let’s not play those games that callers play.

No karoake link was found for Games that Lovers Play

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12 Days of Vietnamese Christmas (a parody Christmas carol)

This is a polite parody of the 12 Days of Christmas carol. The song is in the video below, if you need a reminder. I have chosen the version with John Denver and the Muppets because I am quite fond of it.

The small difference is to that version and my lyrics that you sing my version with the 5th and 10th days being diva moments, not just the fifth (Miss Piggy in the video about the “golden rings”). You’re supposed to sing it with two diva moments so I’m not sure why Porky Diva herself didn’t take advantage of that.

Also, in being a little more creative than the original with the lyrics for the 6th to 12th days, make sure you don’t sing them too fast cause you’d probably find it a might tough tongue twister!

My other Christmas carol parody lyrics:

On the (x) day of Christmas,

My true love gave to me…

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Twelve Viet Cong Commies

Eleven Buddha statues

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Ten – ao, dai, xanh!!! *

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Nine knock off Polos

Eight egg rolls rolling

Seven cups of fish sauce

Six pairs of chopsticks

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Five – bowls, of, rice!!!! (ba dum yum yum)

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Four incense sticks

Three moon cakes

Two growing pills

And a free trip home to Viet Nam!

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* Read ow, yai, sanh (nasal sound). Ao dai xanh means green long dress, which is a Vietnamese traditional outfit mostly worn by girls and women.

Noisy Night (parody lyrics for Silent Night)

This is a polite parody or spoof of the Silent Night carol. The idea with this song is you get the kids to make as much noise at the end of every line as possible, as well as act out all the actions prescribed.

A version of the song is at the below. I’ve chosen about as beautiful a version as I know, with Norwegian soprano Sissel singing it. This is for contrast to the lyrics you’re about to read, though I don’t recommend you try singing at Sissel’s pitch. 🙂

My other Christmas carol parody lyrics:

Noisy night, crazy night,

Let us yell, let us fight,

Run, around, and scream, your lungs out,

Wave, your arms, and jump, and then shout,

MOM! NOT NOW! I’m on THE – PHONE!

And Dad, please leave, me alone!

 

Noisy night, crazy night,

Let us burp, through the night,

Burp, with pride, as if, you are proud,

Long, then short, then qui-et, then loud,

Burp, the words, “so let’s, have – fun!”

Turn to your friend, burp, and then run!


Noisy night, crazy night,

Let us fart, through the night,

Fart, with pride, as if, you are proud,

Long, then short, then qui-et, then loud,

They, all stink, so let’s, have – fun!

Go to, a friend, fart, and then run!

Bad Christmas (parody lyrics for White Christmas)

These are parody or spoof lyrics for the well-known Christmas carol, White Christmas. The classic version of this is by Bing Crosby with Marjorie Reynolds from the movie Holiday Inn in 1942. The video is shown below, from which you can learn the parody lyrics below that. Just imagine the two of them dressed like gangstas or something singing the lyrics below, heheheh!

My other Christmas carol parody lyrics:

I’m dreaming of a bad Christmas

Just like the ones I used to know

Smoking marijuana

Beating up Santa

Peeing my name in the snow

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I’m dreaming of a bad Christmas

With every Christmas gift I steal

Leaving young, and old folks, quite sad

Making all, their Christmases quite bad

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(repeat verse with your partner in crime, then add the line below)

I make all your Christmases quite bad!

What Lyric Writing Sometimes Feels Like, Demonstrated by Hugh Laurie

house_hugh_laurie-711333This is Hugh Laurie of( Dr. Gregory) House M.D. fame, singing a comedic song, Mystery, during a June 2006 appearance on Inside the Actor’s Studio. The song was originally from the show A Bit of Fry and Laurie.

I’m not posting this for performance, or lyrics or musicality. Rather, I’m posting it because the way Hugh put a little acting into all the little spots in the song as if he were improvising. At various points, he pretends to struggle to come up with a rhyme, the idea for the next verse, how to manipulate a word to rhyme, making up new words, squeezing in entire phrases, etc.

What all that feels like is the struggle, and mystery, of lyric writing for songwriting. The various methods, successes and failures of “creativity” to find that elusive lyric, sometimes forced and sometimes “enlightened”, are demonstrated well, I thought. The song is simple enough you can just sit and dissect the lyrics, which are included under the video below. The tune and musical chord progressions are nice and simple, too.

Besides that, I’m not sure I can say much about the “mystery” of lyric writing. It just kind of feels this way, if you’ve never experienced it yourself.

If you have, I’d love to hear your descriptions of it. Thanks!

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Mystery
All my life has been a mystery
You and I were never ever meant to be
That’s why I call my love for you a mystery

Different country
You and I have always lived in a different country
And I know that airline tickets don’t grow on a tree
So what kept us apart is plain (plane?) for me to see
That much at least is not really a mystery

Estuary
I live in a houseboat on an estuary
Which is handy for my work with the Port Authority
But I know you would have found it insanitary
Insanitary

Hated me
I’d be foolish to ignore the possibility
That if we’d ever actually met, you might have really taken a violent dislike to me
Still, that’s not the only problem that I can see

Dead since 1993
You’ve been dead now . . . wait a minute, let me see…
Fourteen years come next Jan-uary
As a human being you are history

So why do I still long for you?
Why is my love so strong for you?
Why did I write this song for you?
Well, I guess it’s just a mystery

Just a mystery
Mystery!

Flesch-Kincaid Grade Reading Level: 6.9