What Pope Name Would You Choose as Pope?

Immediately after a new Pope accepts election, he is asked, “By what name shall you be called?”

He has to choose a new name because he is a new enlightened person in a new role. Often, but not always, this name will bear some symbolism to say something about him, his views or some other factor. The new Pope Francis chose this name to represent his humility and caring for the disadvantaged.

So what I want to know is, if you were elected Pope, which name would you choose? And why if you care to share?

Realistically, women wouldn’t be answering this question today, and probably not any time soon, but this is a thought exercise so go for it! I’m all for women in the clergy!

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Should the New Winnipeg Hockey Team Be Called the Jets? Vote!

The deal to move the Atlanta Thrashers to Winnipeg seems to be all but done as I write this. I’m going to gamble that it will happen in writing this post and move on to the next big question of whether the new Winnipeg team should be called the Jets?

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A Dong Supermarket, Porn Starlet Tiffany Mynx and Adding Twitter to the Male Genitalia Lexicon

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Happy April Fool’s Day everyone! The stories in this post are real, though, not jokes. I’m just offering up some humour for the entry on this day of laughs and good fun. No feelings hurt here and hopefully nobody else’s feeling will get hurt, either.

A Dong Supermarket sign, taken by me during my visit there in Mar 2009

A Dong Supermarket sign, taken by me during my visit there in Mar 2009

The first is one of many examples of poorly named stores due to disregard for linguistic transfer. In this case, it’s a Vietnamese grocery store at 9221 Bolsa Avenue in Westminster, Orange County, California called A Dong Supermarket… where they sell literal rather than metaphorical meat and vegetables. 🙂

I had a good LOL as my aunt drove me and others to this place, which she referred to by the Vietnamese name of Sieu Thi A Dong, something read very differently in Vietnamese than in English. I had no idea the sign in the picture was the one I would see but when I saw it, the camera had to come out to capture it for a blog post one day.

The fact this sort of stuff still happens doesn’t surprise me because this store catered to mostly Asian people from who I saw there on a couple of visits. They don’t need to worry about the impression their name in English gives, which, as is typical of many Vietnamese names, phonetically “translates” very poorly in English. In this case, A Dong Supermarket phonetically “translates” to a great name for a “male brothel”, if there were such a thing. And there might be! This was Southern California, after all, and Porn Valley [properly known as San Fernando Valley] was not far away.

As an aside… why do they call brothels that anyway? Shouldn’t they call it sistels or mothels or something of the sort? You go to whorehouses to find whores, so shouldn’t you find brothers in brothels? Well, you’d find a lot of brothers (as in men, not black men). You just wouldn’t likely be looking for brothers in brothels the way you’d be looking for whores in whorehouses… unless you were maybe in San Francisco. And that’d be just cool with me, ya know? I’m just talking on probability.

Screen capture of email stating Tiffany Mynx was following me on Twitter

Screen capture of email stating Tiffany Mynx was following me on Twitter (click to enlarge).

Now, while we’re stooping this low and talking about sex and porn, an interesting thing happened to me just yesterday. I got home to find an email to say that XXX porn starlet Tiffany Mynx had decided to follow me on Twitter!

And it was real, too! Which is more than I can say for some of her body parts… though I’m only assuming since I haven’t checked or had a close look or anything. Wefollow.com verified the Tiffany Mynx on Twitter link I got to be the real one.

Um, WTF??? No pun intended.

You know, I have Twitter just to know the technology. I don’t publicly post it anywhere or tell other people about it or anything. I follow all of four friends on it and have all of six followers. The two extra followers are people I don’t know who probably won’t be following me long as I’m not very interesting on Twitter. However, they fall into that same unknown followers group that’s an allowable feature of Twitter which I’ll be talking about here with Tiffany as an example. Note to clarify, though, that my two unknown followers aren’t porn starlets like Tiffany. Well, let’s hope they aren’t cause that’s going to be some therapy their grandchildren or great grandchildren are going to need! 🙂

Now, I’ve been spammed before on Twitter, with people signing up to follow me when “they” were really a spam channel. I’ve had others follow me from wherever they found me, only to lose interest and disconnect, or perhaps seeing that I didn’t return the favour to follow them, which is quite cool with me. That’s the difference between Twitter and Facebook, is that people don’t have to “accept” you like they have to accept your friend request on Facebook. You can just sign up to stalk people on Twitter!

But the difference between those who I didn’t know who had signed up to follow me before and Tiffany here was length… as in how long they followed me before giving up. I was at work so I only saw the email of Tiffany following me after I got home some 8 hours later, according to the time of the email in the screen capture above. Apparently, by then, she had come and left.

Tiffany Mynx Twitter Profile Pic (Mar 31 2009)

Tiffany Mynx Twitter Profile Pic (Mar 31 2009)

Just 8 hours? How shallow can one get with Twitter? I mean, was she expecting a response in 2 minutes or something?

With Twitter, somewhere, you can dig up people to “follow”, in hopes they’d follow you to build your virtual clique. However, can someone be so judgmental so as to put a clock on it such that in less than 8 hours, if the one followed hadn’t returned the favour, that person would get dropped?

Geez! High school was never that bad, you know!

Yes, I know. It was probably marketing and Tiffany’s not that shallow. That’s fine. Let’s not start making unfair accusations here. But that was still an awful short response time window. Patience, Tiffany’s marketing team! Patience! Quickies may be good in porn, but not in most situations in real life!

Fortunately for me, Tiffany’s quick pull out resolved one dilemma, whether or not I’d have to reciprocate… as in follow Tiffany… as on Twitter, not to Vegas. I can still follow Tiffany if I so wish. That’s one of the things that’s big about Twitter, which I will blog soon enough to give my perspective on, is the thrill to snoop, although I think there are some things much deeper than that.

For now, though, I’ll just add this story to my book of tall tale lores I can tell by careful manipulation of claims, that I once had a porn starlet follow me on Twitter! Should fit nicely beside the 24 marathons I have completed thus far. And should the grandkids ask why she didn’t stay long, I’ll just tell them I guess my twitter wasn’t long enough for her liking.:-)

"Let's add twitter to the male genitalia lexicon!!!"

“Let’s add twitter to the male genitalia lexicon!!!”

A self-deprecating joke just to be fair to dish it out and take some. But truth be known, my twitter’s got a LOT more character than you can’t sum up in 140 characters! 😉

Hmmm. There’s an idea! Why don’t we add twitter to the lexicon for male genitalia?

We’ve already got chicken, bird, birdie, cock and all those fowl sounding names that has no reference to length — a characteristic often associated with Twitter and penises. So, yeah, why not twitter as a male genitalia synonym?

Hey, honey! 140 characters ain’t long enough to hold my twitter!

Hope you had a great April Fool’s Day and that this added a smile or laugh to your day!

Flesch-Kincaid (Flesh-Kinky?) Grade Reading Level: 6.8

Naming the Octuplets

A Southern California woman gave birth to octuplets on Monday, simply designated as babies A-H. What will she name them eventually? How’s about the Vietnamese ordinal naming system? The Chinese feng shui bagua sides? A word like “love” in eight languages? Eight themed words? Or just eight names? What would you name them?

Before I actually get into the naming thing, let me congratulate the yet to be identified lady who gave birth to the octuplets. It shocks me just to hear about it, never mind having to go through it and all the subsequent years of raising them. At the same time, my thoughts and prayers are with the lady, the father and especially the new babies. As expected, they are premature and could probably use some thoughts and prayers to get through what will likely be one of the toughest times of their lives. This was written before the rest of the story came out about her single jobless motherhood and apparent slight insanity for having done what she did and how she’s talking about it (Feb 9 2009).

Now, naming octuplets could be just simple or easy as naming eight kids. I’m not saying naming one kid is easy. I’m just drawing a relative comparison between choosing eight names and eight names with some connection like the connections the octuplets would have. There is no need to have that connection, but I think it is appropriate there’d be a connection in the names chosen for the octuplets.

Feng shui bagua

Feng shui bagua

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K’an, Ken, Chen, Hsun, Li, K’un, Tui, Ch’ien

(please check out the link below for character symbols of these names)

Meaning Career, Knowledge/Spirituality, Family/Past, Wealth, Fame, Relationship, Creativity/Future and Helpful People, respectively, the first set of names I propose are the eight sides of the octagonal Chinese feng shui bagua. Feng shui, in short, is the art of placement. The bagua is like a compass with eight directions, separating a space into eight areas around the I Ching centre that could be the Parents or Mother. Certainly, with the bagua representing everything one could want in life, those octuplets sure are going to be everything their Parents want, or might be able to handle, in life!

As well, for each kid to have symbols with their names would be very cool!

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“Love”, in eight languages

The second set of names I would propose is simply the word “love” from eight languages. This nice Buzzle web page lists love in 112 languages. Take your pick!

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Love in different languages

Love in different languages

Eight Themed Words

Having eight names related to a theme is a good idea at first, but could be hard because there are six boys and two girls. Most of the themed words I know that could think of immediately are likely to be girls’ names, like Hope, Love, Joy, Serendipity, etc.

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Hai, Ba, Tu, Nam, Sau, Bay, Tam, Chin

(without proper accents I do not know how to create)

The fourth set of names I propose are the ordinals second through ninth in proper order, in Vietnamese, the way the people of that culture often name their children in the order of birth. The ordinals go from second because the Parents are hypocritically “equal firsts” in a patriarchal society. They all sound like very strange practices. So impersonal and even illogical! However, like anything cultural that seems strange, once you understand the cultural values, it all makes sense.

It is taboo for the Vietnamese to choose names not considered poetic. It is also taboo to name children after the living so forget copying names. Many even extend this taboo to others who have had the name, at least others of which they were aware. Generally, then, if you were Vietnamese and you couldn’t create poetic names, you were pretty much stuck to ordinal names that were the default.

Numbers 1-9 in a magic square arrangement

Numbers 1-9 in a magic square arrangement

Unfortunately, Viet Nam has not been a prosperous society for a very long time. If it could be considered prosperous ever at all is even debatable. With poverty came a lot of illiteracy, or vice versa, so a lot of people named their kids ordinally. If they were not able to read, creating poetry out of names was almost out of the question. The ordinal naming practice has been so naturally engrained to the culture by now, though, that even people with non-ordinal names are informally often called by the ordinal name they would have received had they been named that way.

The fact the Vietnamese name their children ordinally was why I suggested the ordinal names be in Vietnamese. If any other culture did this, I would also suggest that. I would choose that over the Vietnamese if the culture were closer to that of the family. Ironically, I just hope the family with the octuplets is not Vietnamese bearing the last name Nguyen. Over 3 of 8 among at least 86 million Vietnamese (just in Viet Nam with millions abroad) have that last name! Compared to the Nguyens, the Smiths and MacDonalds and such are pretty unique. Then to have ordinal names on top of Nguyen, especially the early ordinals since more family have one or two kids than eight, would make John Smith and Joe MacDonald a pretty rare name relatively speaking.

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Persephone, Emily, Myles, Neo, Raphael, Minh, Hans, Haile

Finally, for what little it’s worth, among my favourite two girls’ names and six boys’ names. They are not my absolute favourites as I can’t decide that. I can’t even decide boys’ names well. I have much more interest in female names. And yes, I would submit my name. Not out of vanity, but because I really like it and am thankful my Parents gave it to me rather than an ordinal name. The full version, Minh Tiet, poetically means intelligent foreseer.

One could also go with the top six male baby names and top two female baby names of late, but I do not recommend it. Too common. At least with the generic Vietnamese ordinal names, they are not common in America.

But if none of this works for the family, and I have no delusion that it might, may I recommend my past post of Most Popular Baby Names Fun for some good advice and resources.

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What would you name the octuplets?

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Flesch-Kincaid Grade Reading Level: 9.4

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