Happy April Fool’s Day everyone! The stories in this post are real, though, not jokes. I’m just offering up some humour for the entry on this day of laughs and good fun. No feelings hurt here and hopefully nobody else’s feeling will get hurt, either.
A Dong Supermarket sign, taken by me during my visit there in Mar 2009
The first is one of many examples of poorly named stores due to disregard for linguistic transfer. In this case, it’s a Vietnamese grocery store at 9221 Bolsa Avenue in Westminster, Orange County, California called A Dong Supermarket… where they sell literal rather than metaphorical meat and vegetables. 🙂
I had a good LOL as my aunt drove me and others to this place, which she referred to by the Vietnamese name of Sieu Thi A Dong, something read very differently in Vietnamese than in English. I had no idea the sign in the picture was the one I would see but when I saw it, the camera had to come out to capture it for a blog post one day.
The fact this sort of stuff still happens doesn’t surprise me because this store catered to mostly Asian people from who I saw there on a couple of visits. They don’t need to worry about the impression their name in English gives, which, as is typical of many Vietnamese names, phonetically “translates” very poorly in English. In this case, A Dong Supermarket phonetically “translates” to a great name for a “male brothel”, if there were such a thing. And there might be! This was Southern California, after all, and Porn Valley [properly known as San Fernando Valley] was not far away.
As an aside… why do they call brothels that anyway? Shouldn’t they call it sistels or mothels or something of the sort? You go to whorehouses to find whores, so shouldn’t you find brothers in brothels? Well, you’d find a lot of brothers (as in men, not black men). You just wouldn’t likely be looking for brothers in brothels the way you’d be looking for whores in whorehouses… unless you were maybe in San Francisco. And that’d be just cool with me, ya know? I’m just talking on probability.
Screen capture of email stating Tiffany Mynx was following me on Twitter (click to enlarge).
Now, while we’re stooping this low and talking about sex and porn, an interesting thing happened to me just yesterday. I got home to find an email to say that XXX porn starlet Tiffany Mynx had decided to follow me on Twitter!
And it was real, too! Which is more than I can say for some of her body parts… though I’m only assuming since I haven’t checked or had a close look or anything. Wefollow.com verified the Tiffany Mynx on Twitter link I got to be the real one.
Um, WTF??? No pun intended.
You know, I have Twitter just to know the technology. I don’t publicly post it anywhere or tell other people about it or anything. I follow all of four friends on it and have all of six followers. The two extra followers are people I don’t know who probably won’t be following me long as I’m not very interesting on Twitter. However, they fall into that same unknown followers group that’s an allowable feature of Twitter which I’ll be talking about here with Tiffany as an example. Note to clarify, though, that my two unknown followers aren’t porn starlets like Tiffany. Well, let’s hope they aren’t cause that’s going to be some therapy their grandchildren or great grandchildren are going to need! 🙂
Now, I’ve been spammed before on Twitter, with people signing up to follow me when “they” were really a spam channel. I’ve had others follow me from wherever they found me, only to lose interest and disconnect, or perhaps seeing that I didn’t return the favour to follow them, which is quite cool with me. That’s the difference between Twitter and Facebook, is that people don’t have to “accept” you like they have to accept your friend request on Facebook. You can just sign up to stalk people on Twitter!
But the difference between those who I didn’t know who had signed up to follow me before and Tiffany here was length… as in how long they followed me before giving up. I was at work so I only saw the email of Tiffany following me after I got home some 8 hours later, according to the time of the email in the screen capture above. Apparently, by then, she had come and left.
Tiffany Mynx Twitter Profile Pic (Mar 31 2009)
Just 8 hours? How shallow can one get with Twitter? I mean, was she expecting a response in 2 minutes or something?
With Twitter, somewhere, you can dig up people to “follow”, in hopes they’d follow you to build your virtual clique. However, can someone be so judgmental so as to put a clock on it such that in less than 8 hours, if the one followed hadn’t returned the favour, that person would get dropped?
Geez! High school was never that bad, you know!
Yes, I know. It was probably marketing and Tiffany’s not that shallow. That’s fine. Let’s not start making unfair accusations here. But that was still an awful short response time window. Patience, Tiffany’s marketing team! Patience! Quickies may be good in porn, but not in most situations in real life!
Fortunately for me, Tiffany’s quick pull out resolved one dilemma, whether or not I’d have to reciprocate… as in follow Tiffany… as on Twitter, not to Vegas. I can still follow Tiffany if I so wish. That’s one of the things that’s big about Twitter, which I will blog soon enough to give my perspective on, is the thrill to snoop, although I think there are some things much deeper than that.
For now, though, I’ll just add this story to my book of tall tale lores I can tell by careful manipulation of claims, that I once had a porn starlet follow me on Twitter! Should fit nicely beside the 24 marathons I have completed thus far. And should the grandkids ask why she didn’t stay long, I’ll just tell them I guess my twitter wasn’t long enough for her liking.:-)
“Let’s add twitter to the male genitalia lexicon!!!”
A self-deprecating joke just to be fair to dish it out and take some. But truth be known, my twitter’s got a LOT more character than you can’t sum up in 140 characters! 😉
Hmmm. There’s an idea! Why don’t we add twitter to the lexicon for male genitalia?
We’ve already got chicken, bird, birdie, cock and all those fowl sounding names that has no reference to length — a characteristic often associated with Twitter and penises. So, yeah, why not twitter as a male genitalia synonym?
Hey, honey! 140 characters ain’t long enough to hold my twitter!
Hope you had a great April Fool’s Day and that this added a smile or laugh to your day!
Flesch-Kincaid (Flesh-Kinky?) Grade Reading Level: 6.8