How to Make Love in a Canoe

Canoe Yokes (Y) and Thwart (T)

Canoe Yokes (Y) and Thwart (T)

For whatever reasons, Alexa.com tells me my blog has somewhere between 70-80% Canadian audience, even though there’s hardly anything on my blog that is “Canadian”. Something about location being a factor in search engine results, I suspect. However, since there are a lot of Canadians reading it, and I am one, here’s a practical piece of Canadiana.

  1. Choose a romantic setting. The best time is under a star-lit sky and the best place is in the middle of a calm lake.
    .
  2. Create the proper mood by lighting candle lanterns at bow and stern, and filling your enamel camp mugs with a splash—yup, just a splash—of your favourite wine.
    .
  3. For added comfort, place a sleeping pad in the bottom of the canoe. Some people also recommend removing the centre thwart, but that’s a matter of personal preference (see #5).
    .
  4. Take off all necessary clothing, especially footwear—bare feet ensure a better grip. If you want to practise safe sex, wear your PFDs (personal flotation device).
    .
  5. Assume the position of your choice. The favourite among most paddlers is the “over the thwart”—difficult to do if you’ve removed the thwart already. (See my suggested position at the end)
    .
  6. End with a quick skinny-dip to cool down.
    .
    .

    .By: Kevin Callan, Explore Magazine (2008)

.

Nova Scotia Voyageurs logo

Nova Scotia Voyageurs logo

Sorry, I only have written instructions, no video instructions. But there’s something that might just go viral if you want to make a video. 😉

I couldn’t find it on YouTube. Yes, I looked it up in the name of research! 😉

On another note, may I recommend the Voyageur position. Think V for Voyageur* and you’ll figure it out! 😉

* I got the name from the former American Hockey League team from here in Nova Scotia. The Nova Scotia Voyageurs were nicknamed the Nova Scotia “Vees”… with a canoe in its logo, appropriately enough!

Share/Save/Bookmark

One thought on “How to Make Love in a Canoe

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.