I had written these “voice mail songs” many years ago, when I used to live in Vancouver and we only had answering machines. It was also when I didn’t have to worry about getting “professionals” calling me. If you might have to worry about that, I highly recommend you don’t use these and just enjoy them. The singing messages are about 30 seconds long to sing, which is long for a voice mail, but that’s these lyrics’ “price” of fun. That’s why I recommend no intros, despite some being written as first verses of the songs where you could have the intros.
I sang these lyrics into my answering machines with the real music playing in the background, loud enough so you had the tune, but not nearly loud enough to overpower my voice. Given the recording quality of answering machines then, it was as good as poorly recorded karaoke. That technique can still work today, but given all the tech out there for karoake YouTube videos and recording features right on the cell phones and computers, try recording using the karoake links below with your cell phone or computer recording feature.
Or just record singing solo, unaccompanied.
.
This is most appropriate for December, or whenever you feel is appropriate to start having the Christmas theme in your life. However, I don’t think it has to be for December or Christmas. For singing purposes, it is the part from 1:25 in the video below. In the lyrics of the real song in the video link below the lyrics to the karaoke version, it’s the verse that starts with You’re a foul one, Mr Grinch.
Don’t hang up please, like the Grinch,
Leave a message, it’s a cinch!
Leave your number and your name,
And a message if you’re game,
It’s a cin-inch!
The three words that best describe when
Are as follows, and I quote:
“At! The! Beep!”
Mr Grinch Karoake Link to YouTube
.
This is meant to be recorded straight up from the beginning. To keep your message as short as possible, though, I would recommend skipping the intro and starting at 0:11 of the video below (or the equivalent in the karoaoke video link below the lyrics).
Hello, my friend, you’ve reached (two-syllable name)
But I’m not home to get the phone
And chit-chat with you.
But if you leave a message then, I’m sure that when
I’m home I’ll get in touch with you.
So at the beep please leave your name and number
And why you called me so I won’t be blue.
And then hang up so when I’m home
I’ll know you called and I’ll make sure
I call you…
(I’ll call you – like at the end of the song)
Somethin’ Stupid Karaoke Link to YouTube
.
This one I would absolutely recommend skippping the intro cause it’s 35 seconds long and people will hang up before then, wondering what the heck that music is all about, including if they’ve dialed the correct number. I don’t care if there’s auto-dial these days. They’ll recheck, or think they hit the wrong auto-dial. You’ll have wasted their time, and if it’s long distance, their money. So start at 0:31 or so of the video for a brief lead-in, or the equivalent spot on the karoake video link.
They’ll phone ya when you’re tryin’ to have some fun,
They’ll phone ya when your mind is out to lunch,
They’ll phone ya when you’re tryin’ to make a buck,
They’ll phone ya when you’re tryin’ to get a (beep!),
But never will they phone when you’re at home!
(That’s when) Everybody should get phoned!
Rainy Day Women #12 & 35 Karaoke Link to YouTube
.
I think Wayne Newton has the more famous version of this song, but I was not able to find it on YouTube. However, composer James Last wrote it for Connie Francis, specifically, so this is the original version. The intro is pretty short, but I would still skip it and start at 0:09 of the video below. Unfortunately, I was not able to find a karoake link. If you can find either the Wayne Newton version or karoake link, please do share. Thanks!
There are games that many foolish callers play,
Like how some don’t leave a message come what may,
Never caring who gets hurt along the way,
Let’s not play those games that callers play.
No karoake link was found for Games that Lovers Play
.
In a stunning move today, Snickers Candy Bar Corporation unceremoniously dumped Mr T as the spokesman for its British Get Some Nuts ad campaign. In his place is… of all people… Kanye West!
If you don’t know, Snickers has been running ads like this, with the charismatic Mr T, in its British Get Some Nuts campaign:
or this:
However, sales have actually decreased. Probably has something to do with calling your clientele (British men) wussies. That would be pussies in American English.
So today, Snickers revamped its strategy by making the target one that’s frequently mocked by British men – the American man. And they went for the current ultimate American pussy in Kanye West. If you don’t know by now, Kanye had a “September 13th” incident at the MTV VMA awards. He stormed the stage during the gentile Taylor Swift’s first ever VMA award acceptance speech and claimed Beyonce had deserved it more. He also proclaimed Beyonce had the “best video of all time (of all time)”. His unpopularity has since fallen below measurable levels. Yet, Snickers seemed unafraid to take him on as a spokesman.
“There’s a great, but very politically incorrect Internet meme parody going around about Kanye, and we felt we could capitalize on that. We see more benefit than risk because Kanye’s not taboo in Great Britain. We just laugh at him.”
No ads have yet been released, but Snickers has released some “comps” or concept sketches of what they’re thinking. They’re also inviting the public to submit captions or create pictures from some blank templates (below). Among them are two white crops of Kanye West from the “VMA incident”. You can easily cut out these and put on top of other pictures to contribute to the Internet meme with Kanye.
You don’t have to submit your pictures to Snickers, of course. You can just use them for your own blog to Facebook to share with your friends.
When asked about the possibility of having Mr T do a commercial with Kanye, shooting Snickers bars at Kanye and telling Kanye to “get some nuts”, Snickers would not comment. However, Mr T has already issued an ad to Kanye telling Kanye to “get some nuts” and to “Quit yo jibba jabba fool” cause “Mr T is watching” (last picture below).
.
.
If it weren’t obvious by now, this is just a spoof I created for fun to share some of my own creations contributing to the Internet meme with Kanye West. I just have to mention it as a spoof to be “legally responsible”.
Flesh-Kincaid Grade Reading Level: 7.8
